FEBRUARY 15, 2027 · BY MATTHEW MCBRIDE
The Coma Imprisonment has just passed a grim milestone. According to the best estimates of the International Coma Imprisonment Consortium (ICIC), the ten millionth Coma patient passed away sometime yesterday afternoon.
Since August 8th, 2026, the Coma Imprisonment has struck down over 16 million people (and counting) from around the world. Based on intensive investigations by the world’s governments as well as by the ICIC, it appears that every one of these 16 million “Coma patients” has killed another human being.
Most of the 16 million had killed someone previous to August 8th, 2026 (commonly referred to as ‘8/8’) and were struck down by the Coma on that date. A small minority killed after 8/8 and were then immediately struck down by the Coma.
The burden of providing health care for millions of unconscious Coma patients is often too much for individual governments to bear.
Of the 16 million Coma patients, 10 million are now dead. They are dying due to insufficient health care in impoverished nations, due to complications of being in a long-term Coma, and due to natural causes.
A Complete Mystery
The Coma Imprisonment remains a complete mystery. The greatest minds in the world—scientists, engineers, world leaders, religious orders—have struggled to grasp an understanding of what is increasingly seen as an utterly unexplainable phenomenon.
“Finding an explanation is of course at the heart of our inquiry,” Marius Johannsen, the Director of the ICIC said yesterday at a press conference in Copenhagen announcing that the ten millionth Coma patient has died.
“However, our most urgent efforts must be directed towards caring for the Coma patients who are still alive. And of course, it is critical that we eventually find a cure,” Mr. Johannsen continued.
Coma Imprisonment’s Catastrophic Death Toll
The rate of Coma patient deaths has reached appalling proportions. Many of the world’s governments have referred to this as an apocalyptic event.
The vast majority of the Coma patients who have died come from developing nations where the health care infrastructure is poor or non-existent. Millions of Coma patients are also dying of natural causes, or due to complications of being in a long-term Coma. The majority of Coma patients from developed countries are still alive, yet of course, still unconscious.
The question of how to care for Coma patients from impoverished countries has been a source of conflict for many of the world’s aid agencies. It is difficult to justify allocating much needed medical resources to Coma patients–most of whom are in fact murderers–in the setting of a developing country.
Mathematical models by ICIC scientists indicate that by the end of this year, 97% of existing Coma patients will have died. Of course, the ICIC fully expects an ongoing number of people falling into the Coma, as even after 8/8 people are still killing people.
Until a cure is found or better long-term health care provided, the appallingly high number of Coma patient deaths will likely continue unabated.
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